The Art of Hosting
The Art of Hosting with Kate Pauley
Our In Good Company series brings together good people, good conversation, and (of course) a welcoming space.
Kate Pauley believes the dinner table is one of the last places where people really slow down. As the founder of Create Dinners, she's spent years designing those moments—the ones where phones disappear, strangers lean in, and laughter fills a room. She invited a few friends to her Brooklyn apartment for brunch, and reminded us that the best gatherings aren't only about the food.
What makes a dinner party different from other ways of spending time together?
The ritual of sharing a meal is one of the most human things we can do. The dinner party environment gives people permission to slow down and be present. I love seeing people put their phones away, ask each other questions, enjoy a laugh, or simply serve each other food and share the space.
Where do you start when planning an event?
The people, no question. If the event, menu, or programming is not designed with the guests in mind, you’re missing the point of it all.
How do you know when a dinner party is really working?
When I look up, and everyone is locked in on one person talking, truly listening, or when everyone is talking to someone in smaller groups, and laughter is filling the space. I also love to see empty plates and hands reaching for seconds.
What role does décor play for you?
For brunch, I used a 1970s typewriter to create the menu and name cards. My dad received it as his high school graduation gift from my grandparents and passed it on to me last year. I pull it out when I want to write something special. I also used these poppy red napkins with cranes on them that I had custom-made for one of my favourite events in my career, a dinner at the Eames House.
Do you have any rules you always follow (or break) for tablescaping?
I’ll never try to recreate a viral trend or something I see over and over. I’m all for taking inspiration from something, but try to keep things fresh and original! And then, this rule is more about the menu than the tablescape, but worth sharing: always have dessert!
“The ritual of sharing a meal is one of the most human things we can do.”
What has hosting taught you about yourself?
I care more about how people feel than how things look. My greatest joy as a host comes from watching strangers become friends or seeing an introvert come out of their shell because they feel safe and comfortable enough to do so. I’ve also learned that I’m good at improvising. When things go wrong, I can usually (haha) remain pretty calm and come up with a quick solution.
Has your definition of a “successful” dinner party changed over time?
I used to worry a lot more about the decor and if I succeeded from a visual perspective. I obviously care about how my tablescapes look and love when things are beautiful and aspirational, but I feel far more concerned about the guests and if they enjoyed themselves, connected to someone else in the room, and left feeling fed and nourished.
What advice would you give someone who wants to host but feels intimidated?
Start small in a way that feels fun and doesn’t overwhelm you! You can host just one or two friends. You can order takeout if cooking overwhelms you. You can use paper plates if you don’t want to think about dishes afterwards. Hosting isn’t about being fancy. It’s about creating a space for people to gather.
If someone leaves your table feeling one thing, what do you hope it is?
Seen.
